tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post3437338470191571889..comments2023-08-06T05:52:29.692-04:00Comments on Keep It Trill: When The King of Lies Wins A Soul Part 2Kit (Keep It Trill)http://www.blogger.com/profile/03027769872237001801noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-69554721641943866152010-03-04T01:57:18.243-05:002010-03-04T01:57:18.243-05:00I totally get you when you say you're spiritua...I totally get you when you say you're spiritual but not religious. Some of my peers (myself included) have fallen away from their denominational roots in what I believe is just a natural progression towards real TRUTH. Many of us have been deceived by false teachings, so much so that we have confused RELIGION with a true RELATIONSHIP with God. It's no wonder there's a spirit of hopelessness blanketing the human race. <br /><br />Churches have their place, no doubt about that. We should be able to seek refuge among like-minded believers; if we couldn't 99.9% of the pews and pulpits (in America) would be empty. However, one can confess, ask for forgiveness and pray for direction any time, any place. He still hears us.<br /><br />IMO, 'mistakes' are teachable moments, lessons learned that we might have otherwise missed. Doesn't mean we'll stop making them; best believe that as soon as you get off your knees there's another test waiting. <br /><br />Both of your kids are observing and soaking up EVERYTHING going on with you and your response to the different challenges presented to you. Xavier is at war with himself and has the added burdens of abuse and mental illness. These are the facts, not excuses. You are a great mom, and I believe in my heart that something POSITIVE will come out of all of this, not the least of which is the strengthening of your faith, however and wherever you choose to express it. God bless!Penny Wizehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08217661081059571831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-34672290853076681392010-03-04T01:48:23.919-05:002010-03-04T01:48:23.919-05:00Deacon Blue, Thank you, and man, you are so right ...<b>Deacon Blue</b>, Thank you, and man, you are so right about balance between strength and flexibility; both are especially needed in a time of crisis.<br /><br /><b>TP aka Anonymous</b>, Thanks, for your prayers and good intentions. I admit I got a bit miffed at a couple things you said in addition to the shouting, namely the suggestion of institutionalization, which I think rarely occurs anymore and is generally only for the deeply psychotic. But as I said, thank you anyway for your heart is in the right place.<br /><br /><b>L</b>, Thank you for that incredible email and sharing your personal story. I'll email you back in the morning.<br /><br /><b>Readers</b>, I've prioritized his problems, and I think Xavier is in desperate need of rehab. The bipolar illness can't be treated well until whatever drugs or alcohol he's doing has stopped. I've been suggesting it to him since after he relapsed Thanksgiving, then he got a little better, then worse, up and down. I see his struggle, and if and when <i>he</i> sees it, the paperwork will be ready. Thank you all again.Kit (Keep It Trill)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03027769872237001801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-46951810168486309792010-03-04T00:25:52.351-05:002010-03-04T00:25:52.351-05:00@KIT my bad still God bless and take care.
Tp@KIT my bad still God bless and take care.<br /><br />TpAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-13815036979157144022010-03-03T23:40:21.048-05:002010-03-03T23:40:21.048-05:00I agree with you, Kit, and my intent wasn't so...I agree with you, Kit, and my intent wasn't so much to bash churches as to note that it's often easier to just go with what the preacher/pastor/priest/reverend says rather than to think deeply about one's faith.<br /><br />I think that institutions and physical churches are absolutely necessary. But thinking strongly about one's faith and staying faithful seems to me to be harder, perhaps because I've gone through it and I see my wife going through it.<br /><br />Your line just resonated with me, and I thought it was good for me to be reminded that many can believe in God and still be "spiritual but not religious" You, myself, my wife, etc.<br /><br />Anyway, that's neither here nor there in terms of this post, I suppose. But keep the faith, and keep the love, and keep that balance between strength and flexibility. :-)Deacon Bluehttp://holyhell.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-1019095647509744432010-03-03T04:42:05.617-05:002010-03-03T04:42:05.617-05:00TP aka Anonymous, I'd have heard you just fine...<b>TP aka Anonymous</b>, I'd have heard you just fine if you hadn't shouted at me in all caps.Kit (Keep It Trill)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03027769872237001801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-60021091102047032532010-03-02T23:23:28.033-05:002010-03-02T23:23:28.033-05:00THE BATTLE IS NOT YOURS IT BELONGS TO GOD.I AM GOI...THE BATTLE IS NOT YOURS IT BELONGS TO GOD.I AM GOING TO HAVE MY GRANDMOTHER AND PEOPLE AT CHURCH PRAYING FOR YOU.I'VE SEEN THE LORD DO SOME AMAZING THINGS WITH PEOPLE WHO I AND OTHERS THOUGHT WERE TRULY DOWN FOR THE COUNT AND ALREADY GONE.PRAYER IS YOUR WEAPON USE IT.IT NEVER GETS OLD AND IS PROVEN EFFECTIVE.GET CLOSER TO GOD AND HE WILL COME CLOSER TO YOU.PRAY ALL THE TIME,EVERY DAY.JUST KEEP YOUR MIND STAYED ON JESUS.HE IS A MERCIFUL GOD.PROTECT YOURSELF BY FINDING AWAY TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR SON IN BODY JUST BE WITH HIM IN PRAYER.YOU PROBABLY COULD STILL HAVE HIM INSTITUTIONALIZED WITHOUT TIPPING HM OFF ABOUT YOUR PLANS.I'D SAY GO FOR IT AND STAY PRAYERFUL.I AM NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU THERE ARE SOMETHINGS THAT YOU DID THAT I BELIEVE WERE VERY COUNTERPRODUCTIVE BUT IT'S ALL HINDSIGHT NOW AND IT'S TOO LATE TO GO BACK.I PRAY THAT YOU WILL REFLECT ON SOMETHINGS AND FIND WHERE YOU MAY HAVE MADE SOME BIG MISTAKES SO AS TO NOT REPEAT THOSE MISTAKES AND PUT YOURSELF AT RISK EVER AGAIN.<br /><br />WITH LOVE AND RESPECT PRAYING THAT GOD WILL BLESS AND PROTECT YOU, TPAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-29740188322167789702010-03-02T22:08:44.478-05:002010-03-02T22:08:44.478-05:00Deacon Blue, You said, "I seek God and reach ...<b>Deacon Blue</b>, You said, <i>"I seek God and reach out to God and don't put my faith in an institution instead."</i><br /><br />The part about man-made institutions sums it up. I was born and raised Catholic, identify myself as a Christian, read the Bible, and occasionally go to church. Without reservation, I believe in God. I also believes He loves all his children, including those who identify with other religions or none at all. This is why I don't get preachy in my posts or comments elsewhere; I'll say what I think, but not what others should think. <br /><br />Is it a harder path, being spiritual than religious? Not really; there's a lot of overlapping. I have some criticism over the years for not being a regular church attender, but if and when I find a new one that resonates with me, I'll go more often. <br /><br />I found two in my life that I liked a great deal, but moved too far from the first one, and in the second one, the pastor was replaced with a new one who gave a homophobic sermon on his first day. I'm not gay, but I found it appalling he was chasing away those members. Been around and know about too many religious hypocrites; my mother was excommunicated from the Church before I was born because she got pregnant out of wedlock and refused to put her baby (my brother) up for adoption, and she married our father who was divorced. Had she followed the priest's instructions, he'd have kept her secret, but since she didn't, he had her kicked out of the Catholic Church. Ain't that some shit?<br /><br />And then I see the haters in news all the time hiding behind the Cross and the flag; almost makes me want to puke. Heck, it's almost amazing that anyone can trust the institution of religion.<br /><br />Despite all this, I am glad and grateful for churches. Despite the scandals and hypocrites, I think most pastors are good people and work hard. They've saved many a lost soul and I think society would be far more barbaric without religion to teach us the basics about God and the value of doing good when it doesn't serve your interest.<br /><br />You also said about being spiritual rather than religious, and I'm paraphrasing, <i>"That's a hard path at times...because it's so much easier... to follow a bunch of human rules in a physical church just to avoid thinking for yourself.</i><br /><br />I suppose that's true, but I like to think.Kit (Keep It Trill)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03027769872237001801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-51214206392110707302010-03-02T15:36:17.695-05:002010-03-02T15:36:17.695-05:00Kit, my prayers for you and yours. When you say yo...Kit, my prayers for you and yours. When you say you're "spiritual but not religious" it reminded me of something. For a long while, I hated that phrase because it tended to come from (at least in my experience for a while) people who really meant, "I like believing in something greater than me, but I don't like accountability for my actions."<br /><br />But in my own faith walk, as it has evolved, and reading about your travails, I'm reminded once again that while that feeling of mine is sometimes still correct, there is another "I'm spiritual but not religious" sentiment that is more productive, the one that says, "I seek God and reach out to God and don't put my faith in an institution instead."<br /><br />That's a hard path at times, seeking and searching and trying to hold on, because it's so much easier to say God is bullshite or to follow a bunch of human rules in a physical church just to avoid thinking for yourself. Holding fast and praying and waiting sometimes...that's a huge challenge.<br /><br />You've chosen the harder path, but I believe it's the path that leads to the best places in the long term.<br /><br />And I pray that your son will be there...in the long term...to see those good places with you, and with your daughter.Deacon Bluehttp://holyhell.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-50134920037095826322010-03-02T15:15:25.378-05:002010-03-02T15:15:25.378-05:00Mimi, Thank you. Also, I think you're the seco...<b>Mimi</b>, Thank you. Also, I think you're the second person who mentioned "surrendering to God". <br /><br />I think it's more accurate to say that I have <i>surrendered my trust in the outcome to God.</i><br /><br />Even this can be a slippery slope when either phrase is misunderstood or misused. I've seen people get very passive over coping with their problems or helping others. They pray but that's all they do, when often there's a whole lot more they can do.<br /><br />I was raised to believe that God helps those who help themselves, and that praying along the way doesn't hurt either. When nothing more can be done, when all avenues to help oneself or others are exhausted, I think that's the perfect time to ask God and beg God, for mercy and help, and surrender your trust in the outcome to Him.<br /><br />As a tiny human in a world not Paradise, I see no other choice except bitterness or despair. That's not the life I want nor what I think He intended. I'm just sayin'...Kit (Keep It Trill)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03027769872237001801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-21182100062947927012010-03-02T13:55:00.039-05:002010-03-02T13:55:00.039-05:00I am one of those folks that had no idea what to s...I am one of those folks that had no idea what to say on Part 1. <br /><br />But the part where you held his face in your hands and tried to get him to repeat after you was Powerful! People don't realize the impact that the enemy (satan) has on so many lives. <br /><br />I'm so glad that you're surrendering to God, because you CANNOT save Xavier no matter how hard you try. As a mother keep praying for him and focus on you and Cassie's well-being. <br /><br />I am praying for you guys. I know there's a reason I read this post today. My bestie said it best to me today "When you're about to breakdown, don't give up because you're on the verge of a breakthrough". God's coming thru with that job and restoration for your family. <br /><br />Never be ashamed to share your story because that only glories the enemy. You're helping someone who needs to hear your story and know that they're not alone.Mimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02892850476530901467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-10458155202953912302010-03-02T02:03:07.059-05:002010-03-02T02:03:07.059-05:00Reggie, Thank you, and I'm chuckling at what y...<b>Reggie</b>, Thank you, and I'm chuckling at what you said over your own kids. I'm so glad they made it, and to answer your question, I think they'll have to have their own kids before they fully appreciate your struggles; that's how most folks are anyway, even the hell raisers.<br /><br /><b>Marianne</b>, You said, "This pain of losing him will always be there, but at least it won't occupy your entire life..."<br /><br />Thank you for putting words to that feeling, that intuition. I've been trying to wrap my mind around that for some time. I guess it feels something like watching your little child learn how to walk and run one day, but by late adolescence or young adulthood, he or she has ended up crippled from a needless accident that you kept warning about but went unheeded. <br /><br />I hope an opportunity comes for him to be drug tested, because I've been wondering more about what Cecelia said, that he may be more strung out than I realize. It makes sense and is more palatable than the idea that he's "getting crazier". If that turns out to be the case, I could kick myself for being so blind to hardcore addiction; hell, I've worked with families where this is a clear issue... but love is can be blind with your own child or loved one. <br /><br />Again, everyone, thanks to all for your prayers, feedback, or ideas.Kit (Keep It Trill)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03027769872237001801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-81153923694034200022010-03-01T18:07:14.801-05:002010-03-01T18:07:14.801-05:00KIT you are a strong woman, I think of some of the...KIT you are a strong woman, I think of some of the trials and tribulations that my own two children have put me through; and then I read this and realize that they're done nothing.<br /><br />OMG I wonder sometimes if they ever sit back and think about some of the things they've put us through.Reggiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02228963124180428762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-11231262488928514452010-03-01T02:28:37.189-05:002010-03-01T02:28:37.189-05:00I hope you get out of this real soon, Kit. As long...I hope you get out of this real soon, Kit. As long as Xavier is living and breathing, he will always have a chance to change himself, but that is only in his hands and the hands of God. There are still many good things that could happen for you, and, once you free yourself, I think they will. This pain of losing him will always be there, but at least it won't occupy your entire life, there will still be room for happiness.Mariannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13011710820549008685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-24438262460217386212010-02-28T23:10:09.727-05:002010-02-28T23:10:09.727-05:00Sounds so familiar. Thank you for giving a voice t...Sounds so familiar. Thank you for giving a voice to all mothers who are going through similar situations. I pray for you and us and our sons...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-6602859257194658872010-02-28T22:20:39.422-05:002010-02-28T22:20:39.422-05:00Cecilia, Boy, you nailed it. I also find that peop...<b>Cecilia</b>, Boy, you nailed it. I also find that people sometimes don't know what to say. I even wondered if that's the deal with this post, which has few comments so far, leaving me wondering if it all of it is just too over the top. <br /><br />It feels lonely going through this at times, like I don't fit in a neat little category. I'm spiritual but not religious. I have, no, had a gun to protect my fam, something we don't hear much about for black women. I cuss and use the N word because language doesn't intimidate me, so I write what I think. I'm a therapist with one crazy kid. I generally tell the truth about my faults and flaws and weaknesses. While I have a lot of pride, I give the shame to who it belongs to: in this case my son. This is an important point, to me at least, becausse shame is a huge issue in families with a dysfunctional member and they keep the secrets and their suffering to themselves, when sharing it helps others and gives you feedback, ideas, and strength. And maybe the hardest for some people to stomach, is I'm throwing in the towel, in in this culture, mothers aren't ever supposed to walk away. They do all the time, they just don't talk about it publicly because having an screwed up adult child is often seen as a failure of mothering, rather than a failure of the young adult; and then when don't walk away or kick out their kid, they get judged for being enabling, weak or stupid. So yeah, it's hard, but this ain't paradise. <br /><br />Again, thanks.Kit (Keep It Trill)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03027769872237001801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-4809482461439330382010-02-28T18:19:00.854-05:002010-02-28T18:19:00.854-05:00You're in an extremely tough situation, Kit. Y...You're in an extremely tough situation, Kit. You got a lot of bad cards dealt to you. He's bipolar, refuses to take medication, has ADHD and learning disabilities, and probably more strung out on drugs than you realize. With all that baggage, I can see why you have been reluctant to unleashing him on the streets.<br /><br />You are not alone. There are lots of parents and people married to people like your son. I learned unless you've been through it, its hard for others to understand, but you really captured how complex the problem is.<br /><br />You are not a coward. You are at a crossroads, scared for him, but scared enough for yourself and your daughter to walk away. You've done your best, your conscience is clear and you deserve a better life. You have shown him the right path and given him time to prepare for independence, and can't do any more than that. Maybe one day if he's drug free and taking his medication, he'll thank you for it. Good luck.Cecilianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-71238919339305339282010-02-27T23:59:59.405-05:002010-02-27T23:59:59.405-05:00Penny, Thank you for sharing your thoughts about h...<b>Penny</b>, Thank you for sharing your thoughts about how you felt about this post, and I'm glad you got something out of this that may help you with the storm in your own life.<br /><br /><b>Ozone</b>, You are right that black teens and men have so much a harder time. This is one reason, I think, why so many black mothers in particular are afraid to kick out a trifling son or call the police, because we know the possibilities of them getting in more trouble on the street, or receiving a punishment that doesn't fit the crime is higher.<br /><br />My first experience of this happened when Xavier was 13 and an 18 or 19 year old white guy asked him to sell him his Ritalin. I called the cops to be there when I found out when this deal was to take place, only to watch them arrest my child, but not going after the adult trying to corrupt him.<br /><br /><b>Miz Represent</b>, Girl, I sense how tiring parenthood has been for you in your comment, and how, as you said, you pray often for God's intervening hands. I agree, and one not need to be religious to call on Him, or a Higher Power, to carry you through. I say this for other readers, because I never want to be preachy, just share what works for me.Kit (Keep It Trill)https://www.blogger.com/profile/03027769872237001801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-8303053363548267182010-02-27T22:32:05.071-05:002010-02-27T22:32:05.071-05:00Glad that you are still prayerful and hopeful. No ...Glad that you are still prayerful and hopeful. No matter what never give up on that. I too have been in predicaments that life or living was not my choice, but only in Gods hands. Once we truly trust him, even in the midst of the storm, you shall surely see a miracle. I love my kids to death, but i know in my heart, mind and struggles that i can't not prevent them from going down the wrong path ( i learned this the hard way)...but i can pray...that's all i do now, bc i can't take much more on myself, can endure anymore without Gods intervening hands. I think you are in the place you need to be...i feel that you have finally given it over to God and now watch and see the miracle. I believe and i pray for you and your family.Mizrepresenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02992754393960138393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-13989751466981151672010-02-27T22:22:19.733-05:002010-02-27T22:22:19.733-05:00.....the struggle continues..the classic battle be........the struggle continues..the classic battle between good and evil..it's always going to be something while were on this earth...knowing what your son is going through...remembered the struggles I went through at that age..it's always going to be rougher for a black man..even worse during these hard economic times..what helped me and my brothers and what would help all young black men is education..not just college but trade schools apprenticeships and other platforms..religion also helps...knowing God plus the miracles he can perform is an inspiration...as a mother keep praying for your son...God answers prayers!!! I'm an older cat..Moms is still around....said she constantly prayed for me and my brothers because believe me...as black men growing up in America we had are errrr...I'll call them episodes!!!! she said she kept praying and praying and praying for the Lord to protect us!!! that's the position you'll have to play during this storm...O-ZONEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08183826819829948897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6325219138869173743.post-30514219979135437532010-02-27T19:00:20.515-05:002010-02-27T19:00:20.515-05:00Just wow. This is a CLASSIC soul battle of good v...Just wow. This is a CLASSIC soul battle of good vs. evil. It's chilling to see this played out in 'real' life, yet inspiring that you know WHO has your back. I'm glad that you're not allowing the enemy to crush your spirit and that you're using your GIFT to inspire and help others.<br /><br />Re: generational curses and "He puts us where he wants us to be, often sacrificing our happiness and lives for a greater cause."<br /><br />I had to pause, re-read and check MYSELF. I needed to read this today, as I'm in the midst of my own storm, so thank you. <br /><br />I'm confident that things will work out for the best for your family.Penny Wizehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08217661081059571831noreply@blogger.com