And now for some political satire...
I haven't dined out in quite sometime because necessity turned me into a home chef. Even my dog got a clue and finally stopped peeing next to his food bowl after I told him we'd adopt the ways of a faraway culture and eat him, if the fridge and cabinets go bare next year.
It's common knowledge, or at least should be, that America's chicken's have come home to roost.
I'm certain our new feathered friends will like urban areas. So be it. If I have to have one, I want an urban chicken. I'll keep her in my bathroom. I don't think they can be house broken, so that's the easiest place to clean.
Yeah, y'all are thinking that Kit done lost her damn mind.
Nope. I even have a plan for my hen.
I'll play my Rev. Wright video once a day to remind my new home girl that she's supposed to be sitting next to my bathtub and happily roosting. That way she'll be generous with her eggs and the dog won't have to hide every time he hears someone's stomach growl.
My daughter can groom it so it will look like exotic. There are a lot of senior citizens in our building. Their eyesight isn't that great, so maybe we can pass it off as a poodle. See? This one only needs a collar and leash.
It's been a bitch of year, but damned if I'm running from chickens. I'll shove one or even two in a cage with a nice little nest, and she or they can feed my family.
Long ago when my son's was a wee thing, his babysitter had roaches, then we had roaches when one of those little suckers snuck home with him and multiplied, at least until I introduced them to a fumigator. Guess we'll need to visit his old sitter and bring some new ones home. Then roaches will finally be useful, and can be used to feed the chicken.
Right after Rev. Wright said God would punish this country for all the evils, i.e., genocide, slavery, and oppression, that the American government did to so many people throughout history and present, all hell broke loose.
Not many people wanted to hear that, and even had the nerve to call him a racist for complaining about racism.
Well, he shouldn't have said God damn America even if probably meant God will damn the American government for what it's done. I've been wondering ever since if this was some sort of chicken curse we now have hanging over our heads. Most of us didn't do jack to nobody but lots of us have been affected.
Maybe now is a good time to review how we've been damned since May:
Over 800 wild fires caused by lightening strikes in Northern California.
Floods submerged parts of several mid-west states, which is one reason that our food prices are higher.
Don't forget about all those tornadoes.
Gas prices shot up, another reason food prices have increased since transporting it is more expensive. They've eased back down but that's temporary from the word on the street.
The housing market's engine, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, rolled over and died. They've been nationalized. Or should I say, Socialized, as in, Socialist?
The little country of Georgia stupidly followed "someone's" secret orders to invade their annexed northern side that doesn't even want to be bothered with them over our plan to put missiles there, facing Russia, who in turn kicked their azz. The Ruskies embarrassed the fuck out of us when the EU backed off 'cause they depend on Russia's gas and oil and don't want to piss them off, and now the whole world knows The Bear is back in the geopolitical game.
The fake Christian Right always felt they have a monopoly on God. The head
And how quiet the haters were afterwards.
Instead, McCain's shining moment got washed out. God scheduled Hurricane Gustave to hit Louisiana at exactly the moment that George W. Bush was to deliver his speech at the Republican National Convention. Afterwards, the media operatives of hate feigned amnesia about this mass prayer, not only because they were embarrassed, but because they were strategizing their next acts of pure racist hate and deceit, the kinds Rev. Wright so fiercely complained about.
Then along came September 15th, the Black Monday that will be remembered as the first day of the new Great Depression II if historians get it right.
Lehman Brothers died, followed by a few more and the $850 Billion Welfare to Wall Street
Paulson and Bernanke, in hindsight, might be more worried about going to trial than about Wall Street going belly up, in this photo. The spook-infested AIG ain't worried about shit. They got their cut and partied hard by misusing $440K to celebrate. Guess they were happy about that Bush 'Socialist' plan, since they're nationalized now.
Ooops! I forgot. Socialism, as re-defined by the Right, only counts when you tax the top 5% a little more than the bottom 95% of the population, who would also get universal healthcare and nice social programs.
The Right doesn't think it's Socialism when you save the Wall Street Sharks and mega-corporations that robbed, pillaged, or simply screwed up. They are correct. What they embrace is totalitarism combined with cronyism.
During all the politricks, polar bears, who have no voting rights, don't have enough ice in their habitat to survive man-made global warming. Their only solace is that we'll soon be an endangered species too.
I'd save one and put it in my bathroom too, but it wouldn't fit very well and might eat my chicken and dog. Then I'd have no eggs, and at night my feet would be cold since the dog keeps them warm.
Amidst all the above, McCain's hidden puppet master had him chose an opportunistic moose hunter who will surely slay Liberty - as directed - if she ever becomes Prez, and his remaining supporters are still nutty enough to go along with this to keep the White House white.
Forget about the October newsletter by those silly Republican women had, which suggested Barack will make Food Stamp dollars and we can all eat high on the hog. Those dumb bitches are mental throwbacks from The Flat Earth Society, and will wish the hell they had some Obama Bucks to buy barbecue ribs, fried chicken, watermelon and Koolaid.
Our economy is fried thanks to the GOP aka The Party That Wrecked America, but unlike fried chicken, we can't eat it. Maybe before Bush leaves office, he can issue a Zero dollar bill with his photo on it to remind us what a memorable President he's been.
And that's just the first flock coming home to roost. More are on the way. The writing is on the wall everywhere.
Now Joe Biden said "we will be tested" early next year. Duck n' cover, kids! And Colin Powell hinted at it too, saying, "there’s going to be a crisis come along in the 21st or 22nd of January that we don’t even know about right now."
Maybe they've seen large flocks of chickens on radar from one of those fancy-schmancy outer space weather thingys.
Like most of y'all, I love some Obama. I bet that confused, race-baiting McCain volunteer who carved the letter B on her face secretly does too. All them racists are obsessed with him. Shee-it, they think and talk about him more than black folks. While we're sleeping, they're up wide awake, wondering his next move.
Maybe now's a good time to invest in companies that make meds for insominia, depression, anxiety and paranoia. The fixed news crowd could make us rich after Election Day! Yes, the nervous breakdowns will come then. We're beginning to see it already.
Well, sucks for them. Their hero is older than an aging Captain Kirk who can't maneuver through the trouble ahead any better than he could his own plane back in 'Nam.
Barack is gonna try to get the money flowing again once he's in the White House, but we're currently entering the new Great Depression II. They're trying to keep it a secret so they can steal a little more until there's nothing more to steal.
The first Depression hit on Oct 28 & 29, 1929, but it took a few months before it hit Main Street. Like me, President Franklin Roosevelt had a plan for his generation's chickens coming home to roost. He got the nation through it with his chicken in every pot idea among others.
I figure this one will be worse, so I'm not eating mine. Just the eggs. Greenspan made another dumb ass mistake this week by ridiculously lowering the interest rates to encourage consumers to spend what they don't have in a country that's broke. I don't know Peter Schiff, but he made sense the other day on Bloomberg, talking about how this will cause hyperinflation. Hell, a dozen eggs may end up costing five or ten bucks by next year.
Things are hitting real close to my home. This week, one of my relatives got laid off from her job. She wasn't alone. One out of five got their pink slips. The remaining will go nuts trying to keep up with their work and that of the riffed employees.
Stock yo' pantries and save yo' cash, 'cause ain't nobody is stopping these birds of economic prey, because Superman won't be sworn in until late January.
Hmmm. I don't look forward to any of this, but I do like eggs. Scrambled eggs with cheese, sunny side up on toast, deviled eggs, you name it. So if I have to have a bird coming home to roost in my broke azz life, I want her to be an urban chicken.
And she's gonna have style.