Stagnation's Purpose

This is Part 4 of my Mid-Live Crisis series.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every event under heaven.

"I would watch you sleep in my arms or in your crib," she said long, long ago. "I'd be loving not only you, but every breath you took."

That worked both ways. One of my earliest memories was loving her scent. I most definitely was a Daddy's Girl, but she was my first addiction. Decades later, when life began breaking my heart with disappointments, she was the drug I turned to, the one that would console me.

"I know you love me," she said matter-of-factly, sometime before I recognized that she was become more fragile with age. "Just don't lose your mind when I die."

I laughed then, but until this year, it never occurred to me that it could be a possibility.

The Book

This is Part 3 of my Mid-Life Crisis Series.

Her name is Life. She's an old soul who wrote a book all about me. She enjoys drama, mystery, comedy, and occasionally, tragedy. Just when I think I figured out the plot and how a chapter will end, she'll throw in a surprise to see how the main character - me - along with the others, will handle it.

I imagine I'm in the middle of the book. The author is tricky though. Since I can't see the end of the chapter I'm in, nor the upcoming ones, I don't really know. The story could end at anytime.

One chapter this year was putting me to sleep. Not only did I, the main character, feel like not doing a damn thing, but it's secondary character, a spirit named Stagnation, was boring. For months, I couldn't understand his purpose. No one else could either, including my kids.

******************************

"Mom," my daughter Casey said, "You don't do anything anymore. You're too quiet. I think you're depressed. Maybe meds would help."

"I ain't depressed," I replied, probably smoking a cigarette and staring off into space. "I'm just thinking."

Yeah, and now thinking how ain't no way in hell anyone is ever medicating me. I work through my own got-damned problems without pills, booze, weed or drugs.

Casey looked like she was trying to choose her next words carefully.

The Line

This is Part 2 of my Mid-Life Crisis series.


The line of those I had served was long, and stretched back decades.

In it were Spirits.

They came in all sizes, sometimes in teams and other times alone. Many were anticipated; others were not.

Some of their names were Expectations, Wild Hope, Love, Betrayal, Abortion, Regrets, Study Hard, College Success, Workaholism, Lethal Client Secrets, Lost Youth, Sexism, Racism, Compromise, Mo' Success, Great Dick, Endless Dating, Tired O'Dating, Adoption, Wee Bits O'Fun, Middle Age, Parenting A'Loony Teen, Burnout, Grim Reaper, Irrational Guilt, Mo Burnout, and Loneliness.

Every now and then, Dumb Luck would show up, but she hadn't been around in awhile. Now at the head of the line was Stagnation.

Like some of the others, this mofo was a Customer Service Rep's nightmare, and like the larger Spirits served before him, I could not see behind him. I'd come to hate this friggin' job. Problem was, it was the only one around.

"What can I do for you, biatch," I hissed.

"Nothing," Stagnation hissed back. "Absolutely nothing. Do that, and I'll be satisfied."

I glanced at my supervisor, Life.

She nodded.

I complied.

***************************

This was Part 2 in my series, Mid-Life Crisis.
To be continued...

Mid-Life Crisis, Part 1 Dragging A Horse To Water Is No Substitute

"I have a spot on my lungs," he revealed.

I lit another cigarette and nodded with understanding.

He smiled and lit another one too.


(Excerpt, Part 5 or 6)



*******************************

Yeah, I know that sounds fucked up, and on some level it is, but it was one of those you had to be there moments.

I hardly knew Rocco when he said these words to me. He's my new roommate. I felt not sadness when he revealed this, but a strange camaraderie - that past week back in mid-July, I had been coughing up a spat of blood each morning.

But lemme first go back even further in time, and later I'll continue with this part of the story.

This is Part 1 of my new series, Mid-Life Crisis.

******************************

The New Year brought not the blues, but the lighter version of the blahs. My past remedy was to throw myself into work or doing nice shit for people, usually fam or friends but not always.

Work was thin in 2008. It wasn't a bad year, and politically it was so exciting that I began blogging. In my free time, I was generous with folks who needed help. Problem was, toward the end of that year, I wasn't picky enough with whom I shared my time and energy.

There's a concept called The Law of Diminishing Returns. As a relationship or project begins, the more you give, the more you get back. This works only up to a certain point. Then you began to get back less.

This 'law' particularly applies to business, but also dating, friendships, and parenting. It meshes nicely with another concept in the addictions field called co-dependency. That's when you do way too much for others, stuff they can and should do for themselves. Instead you carry their burden or responsibility.

The blowback comes when you meet apathy, resistance or even hostility while trying to help someone. They might have a hidden agenda and be using you, or they might not really want your help, although they may hint otherwise or outright lie that they do.

The more people involved, the more complicated the relationship dynamics. Think of the sickest office you've ever worked in, and how often it's only a few folks - usually with one or two near or at the top of the hierarchy who allow shit to happen - and together they screw it up for everyone else. We've seen this on political levels since time began, and chances are, you've been in a tight relationship with someone like that.

They keep the drama going so the problems can't be fixed. If you dig around and find out the real reasons and motivations of this person or these people, they may retaliate and try to fuck you over in ways that make you think they've never heard of the words ethics or honesty, and they like being like that.

So if you're feeling like you're getting the 'No good deed will go unpunished' treatment, or being used by a friend, lover, spouse, group, or place of employment, it's time to walk away - particularly if the situation ain't really worth it, or if that special someone or others are apathetic or scared to fight for change. Stick around too long trying to help make things better in your quest for inner fulfillment or altruistic motives, and you may end up suffering from a mean case of burnout.

As my late father used to say often, "You can take a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."

Keep trying to make that pony drink to quench your own thirst for his or her well-being, and you'll burn out before he does.

The thing is, I almost always pick up clues of pathology in others in the beginning, but ignored my inner voice - the one that so often whispers, not shouts - its warning that all is not well.

Wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been so lonely...

******************************

This was Part 1 in my series, Mid-Life Crisis.
To be continued...

Got My Mojo Back

Got my mojo back, and I'm sharp as blade.

With that blade, I broke that ma'fuckin' chain around my soul.

Yeah, that's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

I'm wired to the Internet again. Learned a great deal this year and this summer in particular. Some of these insights and miracles are raw, dramatic or entertaining, and they're waaay too long to publish in one post. I need to break 'em down.

Blogging, as many of you know, can be intensive and deeply personal. When you stop - as I did - and pull the plug from your computer, tv, and even your life, you run the risk of folks drifting away. So I ain't really sure who's left standing out here in cyberspace.

I ain't one for talking to myself, so if the interest is there I'll throw them up as a series of shorts in the Kit's Essays: Up Close & Personal in My Black America category.

Let me know; I'd like to hear from you. Special thanks to those who dropped me a line or left comments over the summer or had me in your thoughts or prayers.

~ Kit

The Remedy For Burnout: Pull The Plug

Pulling the plug was easier than I thought.

Figuratively, that's what I did earlier this year. Stopped watching and reading so much news on cable, mainstream and alternative sites and blogs, and stopped blogging. So many of so-called conspiracy theories have been exposed to be true, some thankfully have not. The evil that people do, particularly ones with the power and money to affect the masses finally overwhelmed me.

So I tuned out.

Not completely; I still skim the news or what passes for news each day, but limit myself to 15 to 30 minutes a day, and some days don't watch or read it at all, and instantly click off propaganda designed to stir up anxiety and/or hatred among people.

This strategy still has not insulated me from racism or hate. I have a pretty nasty landlord whom I complained about last year for talking to me abusively and behaving horribly in general. She held a grudge for this and waited for the perfect moment to do a payback. Despite paying my rent on time and even early for years, she concocted a reason to justify telling me to move within certain timeframe legally allowed by the law. They can do this where I live, as the deck is stacked in favor of landlords, not tenants.

I complained to her boss. He's a 60-something year old white guy who can't wrap his old school brain around the concept that a black tenant has rights to be respected, which is clearly stated on the lease.

In a nutshell, I've been given the "uppity Negro" treatment, where complaining about injustice results in retaliation and more injustice.

Thus, I'm in the process of moving. I may or may not have a viable lawsuit, depending on whether an attorney thinks the case could be won. Pursuing court action is always stressful, which is one reason so many date rape victims don't press charges. They want justice and often revenge, but neither comes swiftly and it's not guaranteed in a he-said she-said scenario where neither is provable and there is no hard evidence beyond the spoken word.

I have my written words as documentation in this case, but these white collar thugs have put nearly nothing in writing themselves, and say one thing one day then deny they said it or that I "misunderstood" what was said. This ordeal has sucked the joy out of my summer. The cumulative effect of racism in my life plus this made me very, very depressed.

On the other hand...

Sometimes it's just time to move on. I found a new place and if things go well, will sign a lease early next week. It's actually nicer than where I live now and a little cheaper, and my youngest can walk to school. It's a house, so we'll have a backyard. There's another tenant who sublets the basement, but he seems cool, and we'd only share the laundry room.

I thought I might need a little extra money too, so I looked around for another job, something part-time. Went to an interview this week and the lady hired me on the spot. Pays really well and the hours have great flexibility.

The only thing is, she said I have a physical and an x-ray for a TB test. I was exposed to TB nearly 20 years ago. Didn't have it, but if the skin test is positive, they put you on medication for 6 to 9 months.

Hell, I haven't been to a doctor is six years because I have no health insurance. So first things first. On Friday I went to a community health clinic and got the X-ray for $20. My fear is not TB, but lung cancer. Recently, each morning when I awaken, I cough up a little blood. It's not much, and is usually dark, but on Friday it was bright red.

I've wondered if my many years of off-and-on smoking caught up with me. TB would be welcome compared to cancer, since the former is usually curable.

I've been thinking of an old saying a lot and in my mind, repeat it like a mantra to keep me calm and grounded in reality: what's done is done, and what has been done, cannot be undone.

I don't pray for mercy, only strength and ability to plan well for my youngest child's life. My son is grown and has been working all year, and should be able to fend for himself if things don't work out for me.

And at night I tell myself, God's Will be done, God's Will be done, God's Will be done...

and whatever happens, because of this, I know that I'll be okay.

Call It What It Is: The Swine-Avian Flu

It's been so long since I last posted or checked my Google account that I had to think a few minutes to remember my password. This may be a clue to why I never married - when I walk away, I often run - leaving that person or thing in the dust.

I ran from fear, and straight into the blues so blue they're blue-black.

Am I back or just visiting?

Don't know.

All I know is that last post I wrote blew my mind, a mind that was already on empathy-overdrive for the sorrows of the world. This was a layer of pain on top of my own triggered by an intense self-reflection from being sick as a damn dog ready to be to put down. That was back in late February.

I pulled the Internet plug - email included - and avoided it all like poison, and barely watched the news. Running from the fear and pain was the only way to keep those two bitches from swallowing me up.

I still ain't right, but had to write for now.

So, lemme get to the point. The broadcast media needs to call this shit what it is: the Swine-Avian Flu, or if they really wanna be 'laymen' precise, the Swine-Avian-Human Flu.

Yeah, Google News that shit: swine, avian, and flu. Far as I'm concerned, the disease on the global block is a madman's creation. A dash of pig flu, a dash of bird flu, mix it with human flu, and unleash simultaneously in several countries.

Yeah, like that lab did in February, when they shipped out flu vaccinations to 18 different countries. It was contaminated with bird flu, i.e. Avian Flu (deliberately, is my opinion, since safeguards would make this impossible). But the Hand of God, or Fate for the non-spiritual, caught "the error". By that time several news organizations had reported it - but then the story mysteriously began disappearing in early March, right around the time I posted on it.

Damn.

Far as I'm concerned, the genocidal, depopulationist powers-that-be quashed that story - the same way they have their media servants fail to mention now that this new flu has components of bird flu mixed in it.

Now all of a sudden not one but two strains of swine flu plus avian flu, all now suddenly capable of human transmission and mixed with a human flu, found it's way into one cocktail.

Sloppy work, New World Order. Who the fuck is gonna believe that shit happened naturally?

And ya wanna know why the media keeps the word 'avian' out of their conversations and description of it? My best guess is doing so would trigger questions about that US lab in Eastern Europe that shipped off contaminated vaccinations ten weeks ago. They've done a swell job of keeping a lid on that story, and intend to continue doing so less the unwashed masses catch on that the filthy rich Genocidal Class decided the planet's resources are too thin to support six billion human beings.

I also think these globalists have been having a covert war with Mexico. Out of the blue this year, that's all we began hearing on tv. Mexico Drug Wars this and that... don't go there, you might be shot dead!

Well, that plan of killing a chunk of their economy via tourism didn't work fast enough, so my best guess is they sprinkled that concocted flu from hell in Mexico. Ain't hardly nobody going there now.

This same small group of banksta-gangtas killed our economy and the world economy. The long term plan of the New World Order, as I've written before, is to consolidate the US, Canada and Mexico into one country with one currency and Constitution, called the North American Union.

The world has entered a phase of no-more-profits at a time of diminishing resources. In the racist, sociopathic, entitled minds of greedy, this equates to being broke and poor and losing their grip on controlling the world. Their solution is reduce the population and keep non-Western countries in grinding poverty to ensure that Manifest Destiny, i.e., white privilege, will continue throughout this century.

But God had a plan.

This new man-made (my opinion) virus doesn't quite pack the punch they hoped it would. I'm sorry for those who have and will die, but it's mild in most people - and should provide immunity against the more virulent avian/bird flu once they recover. This is how flu viruses operate - what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

I'm not giving advice, but I'm not taking any precautions against catching it. My daughter has flu symptoms and I ain't worried at all. A small number of her friends have caught 'something' but it's mild. Mild, not even as harsh as regular kick-azz flu. At least one school in our county was closed Friday. Shit, they shoulda kept it open and enforced hand-holding and hugging, heh-heh, so if and when more malevolent strains hit the US, they'll have some immunity.

Should I fall ill and even die from this shit, what will be, will be. I've been to the bowels of hell with depression in March and April, the result of being sick as shit in late February and early March, and having way more time than usual to reflect on my life. That ain't necessarily a good thing, thinking about all the sad things that happened that I have never written about, or all the regrets, all the woulda-coulda-shoulda shit that can make you insane if you obsess on it too much.

I'd like to apologize to those few who may have been concerned and wrote me. I haven't read or written anyone in over six weeks. Instead I've wallowed in my sorrows during the time when I wasn't absorbed in watching movies or listening to music while playing video games as a distraction from getting lost in the Devil's looking glass, where all you see is regrets and loss.

I doubt that I'll blog again for a week or two or more. I'm not sure if I've lost my mojo for it; I'm still recovering from the 'shocks' of all the bad news, hate and cruelty.

Soon I'll try to weed through my emails and comments of the past six or eight weeks and thank those of you personally, but for now, as far as the electronic and print news media goes, I'm still in 'tune-out' mode.

Illusion or reality, this feels like an emotionally safe strategy and place, and for now, that's good enough.

Lethal Bird Flu Mixed With Human Flu Vaccine & Shipped To 18 Countries

"Deerfield, Illinois-based pharmaceutical company Baxter International Inc. has just been caught shipping live avian flu viruses mixed with vaccine material to medical distributors in 18 countries. The "mistake" was discovered by the National Microbiology Laboratory in Canada...

How could this company have accidentally mixed LIVE avian flu viruses (both H5N1 and H3N2, the human form) in this vaccine material? The shocking answer is that this couldn't have been an accident. Why? Because Baxter International adheres to something called BSL3 (Biosafety Level 3) - a set of laboratory safety protocols that prevent the cross-contamination of materials..."

- Excerpt from Natural News, 3/03/2009: Vaccines as Biological Weapons? Live Avian Flu Virus Placed in Baxter Vaccine Materials Sent to 18 Countries

*******************

I blurted out the news that NOBODY had been talking about this week. My daughter looked shocked.

"Why would they mix bird flu with the flu vaccine?" she asked.

For a change, her 13 year old eyes searched mine earnestly, wanting an answer.

"You know I've always believed that a few of the very richest people want to kill off 80% of the world's population so they don't have to share the resources," I sadly replied. "This kind of 'mix-up' is too far fetched to be an accident. Maybe my worst fears are true. At least they didn't get away with it."

Not this time, anyway.

I don't rule out the 'conspiracy theory' of the ruling class wanting to depopulate the planet. There's been too much genocide in the history of mankind to think it could never happen again. Read some of my worse case scenario articles when you get some free time; I'll give you some things to think about for a long time. Also google the word, depopulation, depopulate, and toss in the words Kissinger and Rockefeller for good measure.

Anyway, Cassie and I were sitting in traffic yesterday, on our way to pick up a medium pineapple and ham pizza when we had this conversation.

I've been keeping this story to myself since Monday, waiting for a damned correction or explanation. I still can't fathom why there's been a media blackout of it. The press censored it totally. They've been so quiet that I hoped what I read was a mistake, an error, a lie.

This is why I told Cassie. The world has been going about business as usual, like nothing happened. If I could tell a child and she was horrified as I was, then we were sane, and our media is insane for ignoring this. Can't no one put pressure on the company or address the problem if there's a cover up.

Bird flu prevention in Indonesia, 12/2008

This week has been one of those rare weeks in my life where I wanted to be lied to. I just got over the worse and most painful flu in my life. Even though I've been well a few days, I still ain't 'quite with it' in terms of having a decent attention span or writing coherently, so don't expect this post to be one of my best.

I've been passing the time uncharacteristically escaping into the world of movies and video games. It's been fun. I'm also still 100% cigarette free, and it's been so easy it's like I've never smoked at all. Weird. I guess my strain of the flu cured nicotine addiction. Wish I could bottle that and sell it!

Anyway, I stumbled across the bird flu in the vaccines story on Monday evening.

Bloomberg reported it on this link: http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601124&sid=aiqmSoL6sVbk&refer=home.

How's that for credibility?

By Tuesday evening, it was gone. Click that link now and you can see where they wiped it out.

So did Miller-McCune.com, another credible site that carries science stories. It was here, http://www.miller-mccune.com/article/experimental-virus-mistake-alarms-europe-1027, now it's gone.

They have a little notice that says "We're sorry, but something went wrong."

Is this how and why so many of our lives could have ended?


And this 2/28/2009 story, from Scienceblogs.com: Baxter Bird Flu Botch

"One of the big fears is that people or animals co-infected with a seasonal flu virus of humans and a virulent avian flu virus like H5N1 will act as a mixing vessel. Flu viruses each have eight genetic packages within them and when co-infecting a cell they can mix and match (reassortment), thus producing new hybrid bird-human viruses. Baxter put both viruses in the same vial, presumably for use as a vaccine.

Baxter is calling the mixture an "experimental virus material," whatever that is. All we know is that a nasty live virus cocktail of human and bird influenza virus was made (Baxter says accidentally).

Exactly to whom it was given, if anyone, is not being publicly divulged.

We have a news report from an Austrian paper dated February 11, a Wednesday, that tells of 19 people being seen as outpatients at a Vienna hospital the previous Monday (February 9) because of exposure to "bird flu virus." The article said no one was sick, there was no evidence of infection, and the females were prophylaxed with antivirals (presumably Tamiflu)...."

This outrage has been going on nearly a month, and it still hasn't made a splash in the US press?


From the Toronto Sun, 2/27/2009: Baxter - Product Contained Live bird Flu Virus

The contaminated product, a mix of H3N2 seasonal flu viruses and unlabelled H5N1 viruses, was supplied to an Austrian research company. The Austrian firm, Avir Green Hills Biotechnology, then sent portions of it to sub-contractors in the Czech Republic, Slovenia and Germany.

The contamination incident, which is being investigated by the four European countries, came to light when the subcontractor in the Czech Republic inoculated ferrets with the product and they died. Ferrets shouldn’t die from exposure to human H3N2 flu viruses.

Public health authorities concerned about what has been described as a “serious error” on Baxter’s part have assumed the death of the ferrets meant the H5N1 virus in the product was live. But the company, Baxter International Inc., has been parsimonious about the amount of information it has released about the event.

On Friday, the company’s director of global bioscience communications confirmed what scientists have suspected.

“It was live,” Christopher Bona said in an email.


Let me get this straight... These mofo's got away with answering what happened in a brief email? Shouldn't they be handcuffs or something?


The contaminated product, which Baxter calls “experimental virus material,” was made at the Orth-Donau research facility. Baxter makes its flu vaccine — including a human H5N1 vaccine for which a licence is expected shortly — at a facility in the Czech Republic.

People familiar with biosecurity rules are dismayed by evidence that human H3N2 and avian H5N1 viruses somehow co-mingled in the Orth-Donau facility. That is a dangerous practice that should not be allowed to happen, a number of experts insisted.

Accidental release of a mixture of live H5N1 and H3N2 viruses could have resulted in dire consequences.

While H5N1 doesn’t easily infect people, H3N2 viruses do. If someone exposed to a mixture of the two had been simultaneously infected with both strains, he or she could have served as an incubator for a hybrid virus able to transmit easily to and among people.

That mixing process, called reassortment, is one of two ways pandemic viruses are created.

There is no suggestion that happened because of this accident, however.

“We have no evidence of any reassortment, that any reassortment may have occurred,” said Andraghetti.

“And we have no evidence of any increased transmissibility of the viruses that were involved in the experiment with the ferrets in the Czech Republic.”

Baxter hasn’t shed much light — at least not publicly — on how the accident happened. Earlier this week Bona called the mistake the result of a combination of “just the process itself, (and) technical and human error in this procedure.”

He said he couldn’t reveal more information because it would give away proprietary information about Baxter’s production process.


Wonder how this defense would fly in the 'hood: "Well, yo' Honor," the crack dealer said, "I can't give away my secret production process either. Surely you'll allow Baxter Boyz to set that legal precedent."


"Andraghetti said Friday the four investigating governments are co-operating closely with the WHO and the European Centre for Disease Control in Stockholm, Sweden.

“We are in very close contact with Austrian authorities to understand what the circumstances of the incident in their laboratory were,” she said...


God bless those dead ferrets... and the Canadians. Call Arnold Schwarzenegger; he's from Austria. Maybe he can find out something - starting with why this lab is in the boonies of Austria.

But seriously, why has the U.S. based Baxter International been so well protected by our press and government?

Is there a plan to wipe out a substantial number of people in a massive epidemic?

That will solve the economic crisis as foretold back in 2006, that's for damn sure. Even if there was no housing or credit bubble, the government would go broke by 2010: too many aging baby boomers on social security would break us.

So anyway, guess who has been making the vaccination?

I have a nice habit of saving links to interesting news stories. From US News, way back last summer, June 2008:

"Baxter has submitted for licensure with the EMEA [European Medicines Agency] and has two programs with the U.S. government for flu vaccine development for the U.S. market," said Dr. Hartmut J. Ehrlich, vice president of Baxter Global Research & Development, in Vienna.

"Additionally, Baxter is working with health authorities around the world to help them prepare for a pandemic. Baxter partners with governments on research and development, offers a vaccine stockpile and capacity planning to be used in the event a pandemic is declared. Several governments have already received stockpiles and have made advance purchases of capacity."


Fast forward to late February 2009 - this is how they prepare the world for a pandemic?

And here's a more sinister thought: did 'someone' in the company unleash it with the plan to make a mint selling the vaccines they've presumably been stock piling?

Nah, that's too easy. Ain't no way in South Fuckadoodle have they made six billion shots - or even one billion. Takes me back to the idea that depopulation was written in someone's appointment book.

To many why's. Hell, I want to hear what the head of Homeland Security and DOD have to say about this breech of public trust and safety. The media should be running this story 24-7 and be so far up the asses of the men running Baxter International that we'll know their faces as well as we do other questionable public figures like Bernanke and Madoff.

Read up on biosecurity and bioterrorism. You'll see there's a lot more to this story than is being talked about. The less they're revealing, the more likely something mind-boggling happened. Maybe if enough of blog about it, the mainstream press and then Congress will get their heads out their asses and demand some answers.

A Very Sick Kit

I'll jump right into the good news. I quit smoking.

I credit the worse case of the flu I've had since my 20s. It hit me last Sunday and made for a very sick Kit, and I still ain't fully recovered.

Have a missed cigarettes?

No. I think that a borderline asthma attack killed the craving for those. The week long fever, chills, coughing, a brief but unforgettable stomach flu as part of the overall flu, crushing aches where pain killer would have been welcome... you get the idea.

Nothing like intense pain to get rid of bad habit. My reaction so far has been Pavlovian.

I didn't even notice until late yesterday afternoon that I hadn't touched coffee all week - or cookies. I've eaten so light that I've lost ten pounds. Must've sweat it off. Well, that shoulda knocked the ole blood pressure back into the near normal range.

Yesterday the Michael Moore movie Sicko came on; I'd never seen it and since I was vegetating in the comfy chair in front of the tv, I watched all 2+ hours of it. It was especially interesting to me since I have no health insurance. I'm still achy and there's a small part of me that worries what if it's something bad that won't go away, and it not a flu? Y'all say a little get well soon prayer for me, okay?

Doubt that I'll write a post or article before next week. I'm too tired to write, but how I miss reading other folks blogs. This week has been a total blackout on my calendar. I'll catch up the next few days and let y'all entertain me with your funny stories or great insights.

Back to my vegetation spot for a few hours. Probably will get up around 2AM and read a bit. Hugs to y'all and thanks for dropping by.

~ Kit

A Different Kind Of Valentine's Day Love

This Valentine's Day, I'll share with you a different kind of gift and how you can show love, and maybe safe a life, including your own.

A few years ago I provided therapy for a teenager of a woman about Barack and Michelle Obama's age and looked just as good. During that time period, the mother had a 'mild' stroke. This was shocking, as I thought of strokes as "an old people's disease".

Hers was 'mild' only because one of her hands was left with less control in writing and holding things - like a pen or a fork. Unfortunately it was her dominant hand, so adjusting to the problem and physical therapy was tough.

At least she wasn't so impaired that she was leaning on one side, limping or drooling, or had slurred speech. However, her family and I could tell her thinking processes and personality were not the same, and she just didn't 'get' things like she could before. The focus in therapy shifted; her adolescent child had to grow up faster, and her husband had to adjust to her problems.

In another case, an old friend of mine was diagnosed with kidney disease. This guy is a youngish 50-something and looked great. He hated going to doctors and hadn't been to one since he was 25, back when I insisted he go for a respiratory infection. His blood pressure then was in the 'high normal' range. This was no surprise; he's an intense person and a workaholic.

In 2008, a new problem came on suddenly; one week he was fine, the next week all the hell he had put his body through from decades of drinking "just a little too much" after work to cope with stress finally caught up with him. He's now on dialysis and a wait list for a new kidney. The cause: ignored and untreated high blood pressure for decades. Learning about this made me horribly sad.

Two weeks ago my son had a knee injury from a biking accident. This was a gift - for me. While at the ER, I asked the tech if he'd mind taking my blood pressure, and was shocked to learn that it's high, particularly since low blood pressure runs in my family on both sides. It's a trick of denial that we think some things will never happen to us.

My former client didn't have a clue that her BP was high and I don't remember what caused it, but she and her family suffered for it. Had I not seen what can happen to a 'young' woman with my own eyes, I would have ignored what the tech told me that day.

Unlike my ex, I rarely drink, but I could stand to loose 25 pounds, cut back on the salt and give up drenching most of my veggies and cornbread in butter, and to start baking rather than frying chicken and fish... and quit smoking. Yeah, I'm embarrassed to say I haven't quit. I could also use more consistent exercise.

Call me lucky, but those are all lifestyle changes that will reduce it dramatically, probably without needing long term medication.

The CDC reports that for black and white Americans, the #1 cause of death is heart disease and the #3 cause of death is stroke. Latino Americans are nearly the same, but stroke is listed as their #4 cause of death.

Both heart disease and stroke are closely related to high blood pressure. First, you need to find out what your score is at your local pharmacy or grocery store that has one of those free HBP machines.

The American Heart Association has a fantastic interactive feature on its site where you can input your age, height, weight, and blood pressure.

Their Risk Calculator will tell you what yours is:




Then click the "Next Section" button at the bottom right side of their page for their Assessment - Part 2. With the information you already gave them, they'll tell you how your specific lifestyle changes can lower your risks and maybe beat them altogether.




You do not need to join, provide an email, nothing. It could not be easier or more simple to learn what you or your loved one can do to save your lives.

The hard part begins with changing the bad habits we love...