Thursday, February 25, 2010
Spent the past few days preparing for a job interview today, among other things. Woke up at 2 AM and sweated over it until it was time to leave. Tried to study more but couldn't concentrate. Fretted over my clothes and hair.
As I waited for my turn to be interviewed, I heard a lot of laughter from that room.
Keep 'em laughing and they'll like you and maybe not notice you've got some gaps in how to do the job, was an unexpected thought that crossed my mind.
Then the thought about myself: You've got no sparkle. You feel beaten down and so blue and so broke.
I could feel my low energy slip away more, and wondered how much longer God would carry me through.
My cell phone rang.
"This is So n' So. Are you still interested in being interviewed for the position?"
We set a date and time. I was thrilled, 'cause that's a job that's closer to my home and one that I think I'd like more. Been waiting for their call so long that I thought they weren't interested. Hmmm.
I began to feel better. Having other options has a way of doing this.
Thank you, Lord, I said. Your timing was perfect.
I settled back and listened to the waves of laughter coming from that room.
The Spirit broke through my cloud and reminded me who I am.
I am who I am. I am serious. I am a seasoned defender of children and families. I am relentlessly thorough and methodical in every investigation.
More laughter from the interviewee.
Damn, whoever is in there is entertaining the hell out of them. Wonder if that person is charming and on top of her game.
Sure enough, a beautiful young sista emerged shortly afterwards. Lots of life and sparkle. Looked smart. I couldn't help but like her; hell, she reminded me of me over 20 years ago.
I smiled to myself, remembering who I used to be, liking that person as much as the person I've become.
They'll choose who they'll choose, I thought. If it's meant to be, it will be. If they select her, she'll learn the ropes like I did and probably do fine.
There were two interviewers, both women my age or older. I don't think there was a question I couldn't answer well. I took my time, and I was serious as a friggin' heart attack.
Then one asked a long, round about PC type of question, which ended with, "Can you understand any Spanish in an interview?"
I was surprised when they burst into laughter.
The lady said, "Well, that was straight forward."
"I'm never not straight forward."
That wasn't always true, but that's who I've become. As I look back, that was one answer that might give me an edge if that's a quality they value, or eliminate me completely if they're secretly hoping for a bilingual employee, which wasn't mentioned in the job description.
Then they asked how I was in a crisis situation, and to give an example. Had lots of flashbacks then, to all the violence in my previous jobs, and last week, my home, when I wondered if Xavier and maybe even me would be dead before sundown.
The words wouldn't come at first. I wondered if they could read the pain on my face.
Finally, I said, "I handle myself well in dangerous situations. Been in quite a few. The main thing is to stay calm so the person out of control won't escalate."
They moved on quickly to the next question. I think they sensed the truth of what my eyes have seen, but didn't want to know. Or maybe that's just my imagination...
I know there is a job out there for me. I can feel it and have for months. The Lord will determine where He wants me, where I am needed, and I don't think the next job I get will be just a job. This is quite a contrast to how I felt at 2 AM this morning, full of doubt and hardly a shred of confidence.
Otherwise, I'm currently fine tuning the draft that I'll upload Friday or Saturday morning at the latest, of Part 2, When The King Of Lies Wins A Soul.
In the meantime, enjoy this intermission and click the link below. The lyrics are awesome and speak to my experiences, and maybe yours too.
Posted by Kit (Keep It Trill) at 6:07 PM